She is in my trunk
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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