And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
