I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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