Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
