i think my mom watched the whole time
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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