i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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