I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why can't burritos get me drunk
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
