Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
