she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
