I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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