Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have already put on my inside pants.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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