New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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