just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
