I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize