Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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