He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
