What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize