How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
