it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
