Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
