i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i don't like sucking hair
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
