just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Welp...herpes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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