1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
