So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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