Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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