Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
