Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
