carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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