i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
