bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
