I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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