weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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