So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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