Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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