We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
