Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
