i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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