oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
