then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
