...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
