he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Barsexuality is the new black.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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