im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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