just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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