And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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