Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
