Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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