I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
