yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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