so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
