The maid of honor just puked.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
