i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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