When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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