No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
