Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
