this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
