Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
