everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
