so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
