how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
