I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
