fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I love you. Go after that dick
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
