I love black thongs
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
