Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Two words: nipple clamps
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