break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
