I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
